Sunday, February 13, 2011

Some Things I've Figured Out

Here's some obvious things I've figured out. Not necessarily recently, but important truths nonetheless. 


I Need Boring Things.
I'm kind of an adult now. And by adult I don't just mean "older" or "getting more ruggedly handsome with each passing day". Although those are both true of course, I've found adulthood has some other unexpected things that go along with it. Allow me to elaborate. Last Christmas my parents asked me what I wanted. For various reasons, I said 'nothing' because eh, what the hell do I really need? Well much later that day, I actually gave this question some thought. Then I was horrified, because I realized the answer was really boring things. For instance, a bathmat (which I still don't have, haha I'm gross) and other random shit, like I dunno...drapes. To get these scary thoughts out of my head, I quickly shifted mental gears and overcompensated by thinking about bicycles powered with dynamite, and hot dog laser cannons etc.

Christmas 2011

Fruits and Vegetables Make you Feel Better.
Obviously when you're younger, your body doesn't have years of neglect gumming up the works, and can use basically whatever shit you throw inside it. Ramen noodles for lunch every god damn day for a year? No problem! LET'S HIKE SOME MOUNTAINS AND SHIT. It doesn't matter! You only eat fruits and vegetables if you think they're tasty, or if you're really hungry. Then, you get older and become weighed down by things, like beer mostly, or having a giant dong. The point is, you are no longer a well oiled machine that can run on shitty garbage food. So then fruits and veggies slide back into the picture, somehow not offended that you've ignored them all these years. And guess what?! They help! Our bodies are built to use them efficiently, as if our ancestors evolved to get the most out of them, since at one point they were some of the only things available. WEIRD.

Unrelated Image.

Getting Enough Sleep is Fucking Great.
My days of staying up late as hell, and still getting up super early for class or work or what have you are far from over. However, recently I've started receiving the benefits of a full night's sleep. Sleep during high school? Fucking forget it. Summers? Staying out late, but working early. College? Not a chance. But now, it's gotten to the point where myself and people I know are in fewer numbers/too poor to be able to stay up/out late every night, so I'll occasionally find myself getting at least a full eight hours of sleep. Holy shit, it's amazing. I had no idea a world where evenings that weren't full of tired misery and headaches existed. 

I don't necessarily need a bed.

Best Friends Remain Best Friends even if you Aren't in Constant Contact.
After college, friends get separated. It sucks a whole lot, but it's a fact of life. When you're younger, you dread this inevitability because you're afraid that if you're not in close quarters with your friends, there's not going to be anything to keep the friendship going. Well for some people that's definitely true, but conveniently those same people end up being the ones that weren't all that important anyway. I've found that months and months can go by without seeing some of my closest friends, but that doesn't matter, because when I finally do, we fall right back into it. Talking to your best friends frequently is great, but even if you're not talking frequently, they're still your best friends. 

You Should Just Admit you Don't Know.
There's that strange thing we all do in conversation. Someone's chatting away, and they bring up a movie, a band, a concept, or something else you haven't heard of. They do it in a tone that suggests that it's common knowledge, and not wanting to feel like an idiot, you smile and nod, hoping that your unfamiliarity won't become obvious later. Sure, I'm guilty of it. But now, if I don't know what someone's talking about, I just shamelessly admit it, and more often than not, the person I'm talking to is more than happy to enlighten me! It gives them a chance to impart their knowledge, which everyone loves to do, and at the same time I learn something new, even if I end up forgetting it almost immediately. And if that someone does visibly judge me for being unfamiliar, then chances are they're a lousy bag of shit anyway.

So hopefully while reading through this you've though, "Well DUH Matt" at least once.


  1. Things I've figured're wicked funny, ayuh.


  2. Yeah, I've gotten to be a boring present person as well.
    I ask for things like soap. And lip balm. Maybe if you want to go whole-hog you could get me some pants or a shirt.
    I have plenty of other stuff because my family is huge and won't throw anything away, so I get extra linens, drapes, house stuff and furniture. I don't NEED anything, so get me some boring-but-nice-to-have stuff.